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20 ways to love your husband well.

Love your husband

20 tips on how to love your husband well. Couples with great marriages know one simple truth: the best marriages are made up of many everyday decisions that say, “I love you” rather than those that say, “I love me.” When we put the other person first, even in little ways, we find true fulfillment.

 Maybe you are just entering into marriage and want to start on the right foot. Maybe you have made some mistakes along the way and are struggling to connect. Or maybe you want your marriage to go from good to great. Wherever you currently are in your relationship, how to love your husband well.

1-Always choose love. 

Always choose love

Above all things. And not the sentimental, feel-good kind of love, but the kind of love that puts the other person first. The kind that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. This is the powerful, persuasive love that leads to a rich and lasting marriage. 

2-Greet him with a loving smile. 

Greet him with a loving smile

Who wouldn’t enjoy coming home to a loving smile every night? Even if you are tired too or have something else on your mind, but that aside for just a while to make his day wonderful with your warm, loving smile. There are not many smiles in the world these days, so let yours be one of the few and the best in his life.

3-Let the little things go. 

Let the little things go

Don’t hang on to small annoyances. So many marriages slowly deteriorate over the smallest, silliest things. He doesn’t take out the trash? Does he snore at night? He’s terrible about leaving the laundry on the floor? It’s not all that big of a deal. Just put it behind you and get on with loving him instead. 

4-Work through the BIG things. 

Work through the BIG things.

Take the time to talk through the big problems. Yes, it might mean some hard work and long hours, but it will be worth it. Don’t let the things that matter go. It’s worth the effort to address them and deal with them. Otherwise, you’re left with a shallow /or hurting relationship. No way. Go deep.

5- Don’t try to CHANGE him. 

Don’t try to CHANGE him

He’s a good man just as he is. He might have room to grow—but then again, so do you. Leave that work to the Holy Spirit. He (the Spirit) is always so much more effective than we’ll ever be. So don’t make it your job to transform him; simply love him.  

6-Remember, he’s not your girlfriend.

he’s not your girlfriend

He won’t always understand or relate, so don’t have unreasonable expectations. Often we want him to “get” what it is we are feeling or struggling with. But he isn’t “me” and never will be (thank goodness!). He is made differently with different experiences and different strengths and weaknesses. Don’t demand that he be something he can never be.  

7- But be SURE he’s your best friend.

Be sure he's your best friend

  Invest in your friendship. Find activities you both enjoy and spend time together. Do the kinds of things friends do: talk, laugh, work, and play. Share your heart with him. Talk about your hopes and dreams, and ask about his too.

8-Look for little ways to delight him.  

Look for little ways to delight him

Be mindful of those small preferences of his. My husband likes his coffee cup warmed up before coffee is poured into it. He has a certain way he likes his T-shirts folded (yes, I’m serious). He likes it when we go to bed at the same time. They might be tiny details, but they say something big to him. What about your guy? What are the things that say love to him?  

9- Allow him to MAKE mistakes.  

Allow him to MAKE mistakes

Don’t hold them against him. The adage “Everyone makes mistakes” applies to husbands too. If he forgets something? Messes up? Doesn’t follow through? It’s frustrating, I know, but couldn’t we all use some grace? And some of us more than others.

10- Confide in him.  

Confide in him

Share with him your thoughts, your dreams, your struggles, and your aspirations. Never keep anything from him. Maybe other people go through life feeling isolated and alone but don’t let yourself be one of those people. Seek his counsel and his comfort. Let him know how much you need and appreciate his friendship.  

11 Don’t be surprised when faced with a TRIAL.  

Don’t be surprised when faced with a TRIAL

It’s not something to tiptoe around, but something to walk through. So walk through it together. At some point, either he or you—or both of you—will encounter a serious bump in the road. Maybe even a serious bump in your relationship. The shock can lead you to give up or want to turn around. But don’t let it. Trials come in life and marriage, so prepare yourself for the inevitable.

12- Enjoy the MAN he is.  

 Enjoy the MAN he is

Don’t compare him to anyone else. There is little more destructive than hoping he’ll become like someone he isn’t—whether you say it aloud or think it silently in your head. Instead, make the most of his own unique qualities.  

13- Be quick to admit when you’re wrong.  

Be quick to admit when you’re wrong

Don’t waste a minute holding on to your pride. Okay, so I’ve been terrible at this one. I just hate to be wrong! But what a silly way to live—and to love. So what if you’re wrong? Just say so and get it over with. It’s not as bad as it might first sound.

14- NEVER leave off with the romance.  

NEVER leave off with the romance

It might not be the foundation of your love, but romance sure makes for good glue. Don’t let your marriage get stuck in the same old boring routine. Spice it up with some fun and romance! And romance doesn’t have to look like it does in the movies (I actually like our way even better). Maybe you do simple, sweet things—like take a walk in the park or sip tea on the porch. Make time for a regular date night that involves just the two of you talking and enjoying each other.  

15 Be sweet to him.  

Be sweet to him

He’ll always be glad for a little sweetness. There’s such strength found in it. And it’s something not commonly found in our harsh world today. Be that refreshing, soul-stirring voice in his ear.

16- Kiss him on the lips.  

Kiss him on the lips

Every day. For a long time. This should be a lifelong practice. My husband’s parents have been married for over sixty years and they still kiss on the lips. Makes me smile every time.  

17- Speak well of him to others.  

Speak well of him to others

Never put him down or make a slight. Emphasize his strong points and all the many things you appreciate about him. Never let anyone doubt you’re his biggest fan. He’ll be grateful to you for this.

18- Be willing to LISTEN.  

Be willing to LISTEN

For many of us, this means we need to be willing to stop talking. To be quiet and to be patient, waiting for him to get his thoughts together. Or maybe it’s simply a matter of proving to him that we really want to hear what he has to say. Be quick to hear.  

19- Make loving him your priority.  

Make loving him your priority

Above your work. Above your “lists.” And even above your children. After your relationship with Christ, your relationship with your husband is the most important relationship in your life and it should be reflected in the decisions you make with both your time and your energy.

20- DON’T go to bed angry.  

DON’T go to bed angry

So maybe there’s not been the time or opportunity to resolve the issue, but determined to set it aside to work it through at a later time. Make sure you say good night, knowing that—even still—you love each other.

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