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8 Ways To Decide The Life You Want

Decide The Life You Want

Don’t focus on anyone else but you. Be grateful for where you are and the things you have achieved in your life. Every day is a fresh start to go after your own dreams and improve from you yesterday. 

1.Savor life

Savor life

The guiding axiom of modern life is that more is better. But we pay a heavy price for placing quantity above quality. No matter how potentially enjoyable they are, bring us no pleasure if we are constantly on the run, racing from one thing to the next. Even the most delicious food in the world can give me no enjoyment if I devour it as fast as I can. I smell, I savor, I take my time. To become a connoisseur of life, to enjoy the richness that life has to offer. I sometimes need to slow down, to take my time.

2. Be open to suggestions in your life

Be open to suggestions

One of the defining characteristics of perfectionists is their defensiveness in the face of criticism. Why? Because a criticism points out an imperfection, a flaw, and this is something that a perfectionist finds difficult to accept. Many people, not just perfectionists, find it difficult to truly be open and magnanimous when criticized. The price we pay for being defensive is extremely high because dogmatically rejecting criticism is putting up a wall between us and potentially useful ideas, as well as between us and other people. We deprive ourselves of real growth as well as real intimacy.

3.Seek the win-win

Seek the win-win

When I set out to fight and defeat my opponent, I end up expending a great deal of energy on destroying rather than on creating the maximum value. Moreover, entering a dispute with a win-lose approach often leads to a similar approach being adopted by the other party. As a result, both of us may end up losing. 

When I show goodwill and a desire to help, I invite similar behavior from the other. When we put our joint resources, our mind, and heart, to the task of increasing the benefits to the individual and the group, we stand a better chance of success—for all who are involved. The pleasure of winning when the other side loses is short-lived; the joy of a win-win outcome lasts a great deal longer and often creates the basis for yet another round of positive experiences.

4.Focus on what truly matters in life

Focus on what truly matters

We often measure the value of our life by what we think are “objective” criteria—our class ranking, the money we earn, the number of trophies we have won, the cars parked in our garage… Success measured by these standards does lead to long-lasting happiness. At most, it provides a temporary increase in well-being. 

More is not always better. The path to finding emotional fulfillment and long-term happiness requires us and focus on the things that truly matter to us, whatever they may be. 

This could mean making sure that we spend time with the people we care about and who care about us.

5.Learn from those around you and Appreciate your life 

Learn from those around

While there is no need to always change our perspective about people—leaving the scene or minimizing the time we spend with them could be the right thing to do—we lose many opportunities when we mindlessly succumb to the dictates of our unpleasant reactions. 

Reflecting on the source of our dislike toward another person can reveal something about ourselves because we often get annoyed by precisely those things we dislike in ourselves. Learning to appreciate things about the person who vexes us can help us cultivate the benefit-finder within, as well as develop deeper compassion—both of which will contribute to our relationships with others and with ourselves.

6. Just do it!

 Just do it!

Procrastination—putting things off, dragging one’s feet, unnecessarily postponing what can and needs to be done today—is a pervasive phenomenon. The temptation to put things off is understandable, but the price we pay for procrastinating is high—studies show that procrastinators have higher levels of stress, a weaker immune system, poorer sleep, and, unsurprisingly, given all of that, lower levels of happiness.

7. Take a step back

Take a step back

 Whenever we feel the heat rise, we need to take a step back or count to ten (or a hundred). At every given moment we have a choice—to be a slave to our emotions and react, or to take a step back—a “time-in”—and exercise restraint. So Take a step back whenever you feel the heat rise (In Angry Time).

8. Be hopeful in your life

Be hopeful

Optimists, by definition, have high hopes and lofty dreams, these hopes and dreams can become self-fulfilling prophecies: Over time they can become real. If optimism and hope are grounded, they can improve the quality of our relationships, bring about success at work, help us overcome adversity, and provide or making our dreams come true.

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